BOOK REVIEW | How It Feels to Float - Helena Fox
Ah yes, a book about wanting to float away from all responsibilities and not having to deal with the harshness of everyday life. What could be more relatable? How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox describes the life of seventeen-year-old Biz who is experiencing all sorts of difficult things, but does not talk about them. Ever. There is the kissing with her best friend Grace, the regular apparition of her dad, who passed away when Biz was a child, and the time she almost drowned in the ocean and was rescued by the new kid. I mean, I get it, that's a lot.
The Australian Biz has, like everyone else, secrets. She lives with them every day. No one knows about how her dad is still with her, even though he shouldn't be, and how he tells her stories of when she was a little kid. Biz is, after all this time, still grieving and blames herself for her father's death. "I am why he was sad." She experiences complications with processing everything that is happening in her life. So she pretends. And she floats. Like everything is a-okay. But after what happens on the beach, all comfort disappears and Biz spirals. She desperately tries to find ways to still be with her dad. Her focus slowly shifts from wanting to float on the surface, as if everything's perfectly ordinary, and wanting to float away, because what if that's easier?
Fox sketches, through a first-person narration, an endearing portrait of the Australian Biz who is struggling with her mental health, her sexuality and grief. She does not spare the reader. They are there with Biz every step of the way, whether that's a step forwards or backwards. Her hallucinations and panic attacks are described in great detail, just like her feelings of guilt towards her father's death.
It's an uncomfortably relatable and hard-to-put-down book, this one. Everyone who has ever dealt with betrayal, grief, mental health, sexuality and love gets something from it. The story is something else. It's written beautifully and hits you hard at the same time. It's wonderful, but unsettling and intense, something you feel in your soul. It touches on the subject of what it is like to be here, something that can be of great importance to a lot of young readers out there. The book feels like it's something to hold onto when times get rough, a beacon for everyone struggling themselves. In one word, How It Feels to Float is brilliant.
About Helena Fox
Just like her main character Biz, Helena Fox lives near the ocean in Wollongong, Australia. She graduated from Warren Wilson College in the United States and currently runs writing workshops for young aspiring writers. Her passion is helping young people find their voice and teaching them how to express themselves. How It Feels to Float was released on April 23rd, 2019, and was published by Dial Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House. It is Fox' debut novel.
